


1895

by Wtchcool



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Gen, Song Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-17 10:31:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4663326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wtchcool/pseuds/Wtchcool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Song parody.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1895

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Bowling for Soup’s song or any of the works referenced below. If I owned the BBC’s “Sherlock,” seasons wouldn’t be years apart.

_Johnny just hit the wall._

_He never had it all._

_Works out now and then._

_Wife’s an R.N._

_His dreams went out the door_

_when he turned forty-four._

_Should have been with one man._

_What happened to his plan?_

_He was gonna be a surgeon._

_He was gonna write._

_He was gonna solve crimes_

_With Sherlock every other night._

_His HDTV_

_is now the enemy._

_Looks at his average life_

_And nothing has been alright_

_Since gas street lamps, the telegram._

_Way before Instagram_

_There was Wood and Newman_

_And “The Tyrolean.”_

_His readers in high school_

_They tell him that he’s uncool._

_‘Cause he’s still preoccupied_

_With 18—_

_18—_

_1895._

_He’s read all the classics._

_He knows every line._

_“Trilby,” “The Time Machine,”_

_Even “Sons of Fire.”_

_Still a vet of Afghanistan_

_And a big ladies’ man._

_Thought he’d get a hand on_

_“An Ideal Husband.”_

_Where’s the Irregulars children?_

_And who’s the genius that elected Sebastian?_

_When did Moriarty_

_become I.T.?_

_Whatever happened to teaching mathematics?_

_(Back then you had)_

_Gas street lamps, the telegram._

_Way before Instagram_

_There was Wood and Newman_

_And “The Tyrolean.”_

_His readers in high school_

_They tell him that he’s uncool._

_‘Cause he’s still preoccupied_

_With 18—_

_18—_

_1895._

_He hates time._

_Make it stop._

_When did St. Bart’s roof become Reichenbach?_

_And when did “Richard” become an actor?_

_Please make this_  
Stop! Stop! Stop!  
And bring back—

_Gas street lamps, the telegram._

_Way before Instagram_

_There was Wood and Newman_

_And “The Tyrolean.”_

_His readers in high school_

_They tell him that he’s uncool._

_‘Cause he’s still preoccupied_

_With 18—_

_18—_

_1895._

**Author's Note:**

> Henry Wood was a conductor in 1895, whose concert series was promoted by Robert Newman. “The Tyrolean” was a musical theater production in London (same year). “Trilby” was a novel and later a play and eventually a movie. “Sons of Fire” by Mary Elizabeth Braddon was published in (you guessed it) 1895.
> 
> Finally, “An Ideal Husband” was a play by Oscar Wilde. 
> 
> Info courtesy of Wikipedia.


End file.
